Coliforms -- Not Colorforms

I was always an avid listener when Mommy would tell me about what things were like when she was a kid. In fact, I would sit rapt when anyone who was older would tell me about their childhood.

A favorite school assignment of mine was sometime in elementary school (surprisingly, I can't remember what grade). We had to interview members of our family for social studies, and we had to have one member from two or three different generations. The list of questions tended towards the "how much did bread cost" variety.

One of the best conversations I ever had with my grandma and grandpa was the result of that assignment.

In any case, I remember Mommy telling me about Colorforms and just like the other things Mommy talked about -- the paper dolls, the Easy Bake Oven and the hairpiece-wig-thingy -- I wanted some Colorforms. Also surprisingly, I can't remember if I ever got any.

Maybe the breach in my otherwise uncanny memory has to do with the fact that I just did dishes for 2 hours. Seriously.

It all dates back to 3:15 p.m., a mere 12 hours ago, when a fax came through at work. I was busily trying to do something or other when I heard my co-workers start buzzing. "Boil water notice ... boil water notice ... boil water notice."

Then, much to my delight, the notice was thrown on my desk with a hurried, "It's a city thing." Two quick notes about work. I'm the city editor, so the "it's a city thing" was an extremely valid reason for depositing the fax with me. The other tidbit about my life: I start at 3, so I'd only been there a very few minutes and was already staring blankly into the chasm of another high school graduation, set to begin at 7 p.m.

But I should have known. In fact I did, kind of. Breaking news on Fridays is like what they say about death -- it always comes in threes. So, I thought about my horrible last Friday, and wondered what would come of today. It didn't take long to find out.

So, I got on the horn (there's an olden time theme here, it's just yet to really release itself in full force) and started talking to the head of the water department. It seems there are coliforms in our water.

Now, I've already written plenty on this subject today, so I'm not going into the details. I'll just say, it seems a mechanical malfunction made the water main clean itself out, unleashing an unacceptable amount of bacteria into the water.

Unlike Colorforms, which are fun, coliforms can make you sick and make the Department of Natural Resources and Environment tell the city to issue a boil water notice.

I wish I could say that I was thinking of the repercussions of this event, wondering if anyone had suffered ill consequences -- literally. But, nothing that noble was taking place in my mind. All I could think about was the dishes.

There were loads of them.

They were piled like a filthy shipwreck in my kitchen sink.

You see, as I was weeding all week long, what I wasn't doing was my dishes. Or anything involving cleaning my house. This is not practical perfection-like behavior. But, I paid. Oh, did I ever pay.

I got home, looked at the dirty mountain, and decided there's no time like now. (I conveniently forgot that there was a time, much more like now, when the dishes first became dirty.) So, I set to boiling some water. And I boiled some more. And some more. And a whole ton more. It's amazing how much water fits in a sink and a little plastic bin-thingy. And it's amazing how hot water is after its been boiled.

(Now for the theme!) It was a lot like the olden days, doing my dishes in standing boiled water. At least that's what I told myself, to try to keep myself entertained as I spent 2 HOURS doing dishes. I also tried desperately to find any, ANY similarities between coliforms and Colorforms. But, as yet, I'm still at a loss.

On a happier note, the dishes are done and tomorrow I'm buying paper plates. Hopefully they won't be all sold out like the bottled water. In the meantime, here's the lesson for the day (and apparently it's one I have to keep learning over, and over, and over, and over ...): Do the dishes as soon as you're done using them.

This step simplifies life so very much. But, I'm quite sure I'm not the only one who hasn't fully figured this out yet. Tonight, though, I got several steps closer to graduating from that class.

Sidenote: I also realized tonight that there were clothes still in the washer from several (I refuse to say how many) days ago. To combat the smell AND the coliforms, I used bleach. We'll see how it turns out. I'm hoping OK, because my two favorite sweaters were in there.

COMING TOMORROW: I'm going to build the vegetable garden and plant all my plants. This is a picture of the site of the garden. I've seriously got my work cut out for me. ... I'm hoping I can get them all in the ground, because I worry about them out there in those little trays on my rotting picnic table. I'll report on the outcome.